she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
