im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
