I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
