yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
