And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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