I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Come share oat with me in your robe
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize