If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
