all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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