Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
