U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize