Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
