I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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