i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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