your thong is hanging out like whoa
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
