I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
