garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
