I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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