Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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