Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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