Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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