And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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