I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
