walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
