..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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