Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize