Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
