At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
