I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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