I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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