people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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