It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
