dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
