reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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