God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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