Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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