Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I will pee on everything he values.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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