I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
