...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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