What a fucking waste of an outfit
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
