she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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