After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
