so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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