look no pants
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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