if you like me you must not know who I am
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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