im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
