I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
