Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
