giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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