Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
