He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Hippo gnu deer
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Less talking, more tequila
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
