Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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