No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
