She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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