We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
