you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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