Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Vodka?
Forever.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
