Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
