It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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