My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize