Jerry, you need to find god
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
