i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize