So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
