Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
