Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Someone signed my nipple.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
