we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
