I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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