Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
